I'm so fucking centered right now
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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