Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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