when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
