im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
