He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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