So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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