Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it glows. i had to have it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
