By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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