Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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