i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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