dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
should my penis look like a turkey
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
