i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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