I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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