he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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