Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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