Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
