I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need