Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
