Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
