I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
