Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
