life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
