too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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