Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
