why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
