So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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