The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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