So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
