party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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