Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
