I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
