party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
