Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
But break dance skills will only take you so far
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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