At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
