I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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