You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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