Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
