i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
