he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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