do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
