i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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