OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
