But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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