Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
