just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
