FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids