i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown