ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word

  Fav 12 2271 3014

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

  Fav 21 1563 5425

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

  Fav 9 4937 1155

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

  Fav 4 5620 1393

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

  Fav 2 3613 919

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

  Fav 6 2153 1267

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+61): View more from Australia

  woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME

  Fav 15 6661 1261

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me

  Fav 2 1225 2692

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".

  Fav 5 2560 920

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

  Fav 11 778 1835

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious

  Fav 2 971 631

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  third nipple confirmed

  Fav 9 531 896

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.

  Fav 2 810 513

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.

  Fav 2 343 495

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.

  Fav 0 157 78

  share tweet
  

Randomize