Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

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  (716): Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad http://tfl.nu/smfo
  Replies (8) Good night (996) Bad night (962)
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  (323): View more from California

  Booty call?

  (310): View more from California

  Dude you don't even follow my twitter

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  (323): Booty call? (310): Dude you don't even follow my twitter http://tfl.nu/5q8u
  Replies (15) Good night (799) Bad night (2766)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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  (405): Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for http://tfl.nu/gqdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1416) Bad night (3632)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.

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  (313): i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried. http://tfl.nu/0j7l
  Replies (59) Good night (1822) Bad night (5534)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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  (303): Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/o3ef
  Replies (18) Good night (8142) Bad night (2345)
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  (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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  (949): i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it http://tfl.nu/yzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (3538)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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  (610): Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand. http://tfl.nu/ms96
  Replies (10) Good night (4579) Bad night (1373)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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  (206): That's why there are breakfast margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dzi9
  Replies (3) Good night (3341) Bad night (987)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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  (804): Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night? http://tfl.nu/x7lh
  Replies (7) Good night (5243) Bad night (1221)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

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  (620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7
  Replies (16) Good night (4186) Bad night (993)
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  (909): View more from California

  No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back

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  (909): No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back http://tfl.nu/jzby
  Replies (2) Good night (1459) Bad night (525)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth

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  (480): In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth http://tfl.nu/2qc1
  Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (642)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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  (847): We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love. http://tfl.nu/9pu7
  Replies (7) Good night (1001) Bad night (852)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like

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  (423): There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like http://tfl.nu/a9lz
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (494)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.

  (1-865): View more from Tennessee

  hahahah

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  (865): I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today. (1-865): hahahah http://tfl.nu/pyyj
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (354)

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