Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(627): View more from California

his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."

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(416): View more from Toronto

How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?

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