I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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