it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.