I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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