real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
