evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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