where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize