he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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