i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
