Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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