2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize