lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
