you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
