No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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